not going to a party ..again

  well i don't know when am i ever going to be an adult and go out with my friends on new years oh well.....
 
iam feeling a bit sad yet a bit angry with myself I have not ever been to a new years party and every year when i plan to go i sometimes dont have the money for it or i dont have a ride ! so great! :(
but of course iam more better off than others and iam thankful for that!
    but yet i feel a bit out of place ! all around me has been nothing but negative energy ! i feel a bit lost and a bit scared of the new to come but over after it all iam happy for every thing god has given me (allah)

 i pray all of you have a great new year!
and happy new year !